Grown up, did ya?

Hi, peeps. To prove to my mom that her son can still write in English so i purposely ditch Chinese for this post.

One thing I love about blogging is you can always check all your previous blog with a few click. Sometimes you look back to your previous entry and you get sad, but most of the time you just smile thinking back how naive or silly you were.

I'm reading my entries from last September and I realized one year is really a long period. If you follow the saying of living your life one second at a time, then you just lived Thirty one million five hundred and thirty six thousand second. To make it lot simple, is 31 560 000 second.

A year ago, I was still a student, complain about unfairness in life all the time. Hating myself for making me feeling so miserable all the time. My best friends have to listen to my stupid issue over and over and over again.

My best friend got married last Sunday, if u were to told me last September that she will be getting marry now, I will slap you for talking crap.

Never thought that falling out of love can bring such calm to my mind, no longer feeling restless just because she didn't pick up your call, no longer feeling sad listening to her lies, no longer having false hope that someday things will work out and we will live happily ever after, no longer thinking: could it be that I'm worthless hence she dun have to appreciate me.

I have forgotten that what I want was just simple happiness because I was trying too hard to drown myself in that pond of messiness. What started off as pure and simple turn into nasty and unpleasant.

I am no longer that person that live for someone else, I love whoever that is loving me and appreciate me. Thanks for making me a better person.

what's life?

How often do you ask yourself the one most important question of your life: What it is the meaning of live?

You will be astonished by realizing that you don't really get it figure out after living for more than 20 years.

I once read that man are goal-oriented. They only feel living when they are working toward their target or goals. If that is the case then I am in deep shit right now. Why? Because I dun remember having any proper goal in my life. Dating a super model and owning my own football team is more of a dream, not goal.

Could it be that I have not been living at all for the past 23 years? What I was doing are just breathing, feast when I am hungry and sleep when I m tired. And even the last part I have not been doing well.

I found myself wondering where will I be in 5 years time? You know, when I am about to be 30 and living in denial of that fact. And it is making me really sad and scare that I actually have no idea how my life is going to turn out to be. Hell, I dun even know I am a dog or a cat person.

There is another saying about life: a life worth living is a life full of joy and happiness. If that is really true, then I am actually having quite a life right now. Because I am enjoying it and I feel happy most of the time.

Right now, my LIFE is just Living + Inappropriate + Fun + Ending ( I do not have suicidal thoughts, but somehow I think I will just die in some freaky accident)

Sometimes

Sometimes you just need to make up your mind.

Sometimes you just need to be selfish and put yourself first.

Sometimes you try too hard to please everyone, you end up hurting everyone.

Sometimes the person that you love the most is that one person that you know very well you can never be with no matter how hard you try.

Sometimes you need to be cruel, even though you are always the nice guy.

Sometimes you think you understand love, but actually you only know love just the way you want it to be.

Sometimes I just wish I can runaway from all these sometimes.

Dear mommy

Someone complain that I purposely write my entry in Chinese because I don't want her to understand what I am trying to express.

Luan Luan Kongg. Nah, now I write in English lo, okay? I am doing it only for you lo, because you are the most important woman in my life. So I think is right about time I get more allowances. HaHaHa.

In a week time, I will once again get to drink mommy's warmth and delicious soup. I'm homesick to the max. Could this possible be the reason why I can't sleep at night?! I don't think it has anything to do with the final exam.

Beside my family, there are a lot of people that I am missing too. Khai Lin la, Sheanne la, Yoko la, Kah Lun la, Mei Cheeng la, Cindy la, Sheirly la, Wen Qian la, and also Fat Xiong and Gay Xiang. My brain also can't recall all the name lo

The only thing I am not hoping to be greeted by is the super hot weather of KL.

late april fool post

Wanted to write this in Chinese initially so that people who can’t read Chinese will not think that I am racist, but after much consideration, I decided to write it in English so that everyone can get whatever that I am trying to express here.

I love Malaysia, the food, the people, the street, Mid Valley, the weather and etc. But one thing that I don’t like at all is how we are being fooled by the government (actually not the whole organization, but merely some top position in the Cabinet) of this whole 1Malaysia campaign. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the unity among different races concept. But is just a task that can never be accomplished. At least it is not achievable so long as the government continue on with the policy of Bumiputera Superiority (BS).

Okay, some might start to say that I am playing with fire by bringing this sensitive issue up. That is not my intention: to stir up more displeasure of non-Bumi. NO. I am talking something bigger here. I am always against any double standard in anything. Since young, we are taught to be fair and everyone deserved equal right and chance in everything. Yet, in real life…… (fill in anything that you like here)

One thing great about human is the way we adapt to things, unlike animal, we can adapt in different kind of situation and environment. So I am getting use to this BS, and I will never get to do anything to change that. Is just that I’m really fed up by this joke they play with the 1Malaysia thing right now.

I think I should really move into the real reason I wrote this post.

So today is April Fool, and I was listening to the news on radio (yeah, u heard me right, the news). There is this news about DPM making the following remark: Malay special right will always come first, 1Malaysia will follow behind.

Then the news continued on about our PM backing his deputy: DPM is right. He is just quoting what is stated in the Constitution(okay, I’m sorry if I didn’t get the term right, but in Bahasa, is Perlembagaan).

As if the first news about the DPM is not hilarious enough, the second news did well to outshine the former. I was laughing in my heart when I heard the news.

The government is throwing spending multimillion to promote and instill the whole 1Malaysia spirit in our people. The concept is really splendid, one big united family consisting different races. No more distinguishing between Malay, Chinese, Indian and the rest of minority races. We are equal, we are loving each other as a family. We share everything, the Bumi have BS, the non-Bumi have nothing.

See where the problem lies? It doesn’t really look equal and fair, isn’t it? You are telling us to unite and walk hands in hands to prosperity and 2020, yet you sit on top of everyone playing with superiority and second class. How can we be really united? Is only human nature that we feel envy or jealous of people having advantage over us, is not a crime for us toe feel that way.

Stop pouring more money into the whole 1Malaysia thing if you still want to hold on to the special right. Withdraw the so called 1Malaysia F1 team which is the most absurd idea I ever heard, unity of a nation on the back of a 4 wheel racing car?

Just leave us as how we are previously, and by that I meant the pre-1Malaysia period. We are doing pretty well anyway, spend that hundred million on developing the country infrastructure and improve the quality of US, the people’s life and welfare.

P.S: As I stated previously, this is my blog, I’m just giving my point of view on things I seen, I experienced and I felt.

P.P.S. : I turn on anonymous comment so that anyone of you can just give your comment without needing your ID.

Dun hate her for loving you

HaHa, I know I have not been the best figure for you to look up upon and set as an example.

But I did my part, and I hope you can get something out of it.

One thing that I remember most vividly is when she says: The day that I stop nagging, that is the day I stop loving and no longer care.

Just like how I always put it: We can never choose our family like how we have the choice for friend.


YLP, dun hold grudges, appreciate everything that you are having.

******************

Alex asked Why you choose to blog ya?

Ehm, because I always feel good after doing so.

thanks for sharing your story

I can fully understand the frustration of working 9-5 everyday. I m working a 10 hours shift right now, even though it will only be less than a month but I think I aged by 10 years oledi.

Yesterday mark one of the worst day in my part time job.

I start off the day with less than 4 hours sleep on the previous night.

Being selfless and nice really doesn't do you good sometimes. Everyone seems to be enjoying teasing me, I'm okay if it was any other day, but yesterday was like one of those day when I woke up and I know something is not right. Sufficient to say, I was in grumpy mood.

So I go through the whole day with a long face except for a few brief moment when I was having my breaktime.

I'm really sorry if I did shocked some of you who get to see the other side of me yesterday. Yes, the ugly truth is I can be very nice, but that doesn't mean I will never get pissed off.

Insufficient sleep + super-looking-forward-to-plan is foiled + everyone is teasing + customer showing dulan face to me = hyper pissed off.

$$$$$$$

I found myself reading lots of article from the internet about how bad the economy is doing in US. News of recession hitting hard, jobless rate is hitting 11%, unemployed living on severance, jobless people remain jobless for more than 6 months after sending hundred of resume applying for job. The typical sad news that make every job seeker very demotivate. If you are looking for a job, please remember not to check those article like I do.

At this rate, I think I should start worrying bout getting a job when I graduate; instead of worrying my routinely-uninteresting work once I got a job. I must be fucking dumb to hate working if I never actually get a job, right?

I think my mom just found more reason to nag me and stop me from spending. Lol.

On a lighter note, according to this article. Civil engineering related field seems to be getting quite some good pay, eg: Hydrologist, environmental engineer, construction project manager.

But notice at the end of the article? The salaries listed are median, annual salaries for full-time workers with 5-8 years of experience and include any bonuses, commissions or profit sharing.

How you get 5-8 years of working experience if you never get a job to start with?

Future

Happy Birthday, Drum King! (Honestly, I'm so tempted to put Drumstick King)

You're 21. May you have a eventful, lustful, wonderful celebration there. Let's have a replacement joint birthday celebration for everyone once you get back.

I must admit though, I almost forgot your birthday until SM and GAY XIANG together with you yourself reminded me. Haha



Nick told me bout his plan to take up 2nd degree in a field that has nothing do with the degree he is having now.

I think is really awesome for him to have plan for his future, but I'm thinking that it could be a lot tougher than it seems.
Is like, being a TOPGEAR follower does not make you a real good driver. The same can be say in his case here.

But as your friend, I'm giving you this advise: If you heart is in it, then put your body to it as well. Thoughts will always be thoughts until you actually do something about it.

Do keep me update with your plan.

Please dun do it infront of me, pretty please

Thought of coming up with a list of "things that I can't stand" for quite a while, and finally I'm able to pen it down and show it to you.

Tada~~~

1. Guy wearing slippers or sandals with long pants. Kill me please! Is so freaking gross to wear long pants and show your toes in a slippers or sandals. Gals can do it because they go for pedicure and their sandals are actually lot more nicer.
   
2. Guy having their baggy pants so low that you can see their ass crack. Kill me first, then revive me and kill me again! I'm sure you guys encounter it before, so I'm not going to detail on the grossness and obscene of it.
   
3. Using WATEVER like is a full-stop in their sentences. I heard that it is actually the female equality of guy's Fuck you, and I'm all okay with vulgar or cursing. But imagine people using it in every sentences, you think you r coming up with a crossover of Sex In the City and the Departed meh?
   
4. Ask the food to be packed in Polystyrene as if to takeaway but end up eating in the eatery itself. This is one thing that I have yet to figure it out, Polystyrene is not biodegradable and this people are using it as a replacement of plate because Polystyrene box is cleaner?!? I'm not the world biggest Earth loving guy la, but I hope you die in a Polystyrene waste mountain.
   
5. Never wanted to admit one's laziness but giving excuses instead. I'm lazy and I always tell people so when I dun wan to do some of the task I was assigned to. So please respect the rest of us and just admit that you are fucking lazy and not busy.
   

Is not a long list, some might not be serious to most of you, but is like Durian, some people love it, others just can't stand it.

my scarf

I'm sorry, I dun mean to make your angry 1 lo, is just my way of cheering people up when shit happened to them. I'm so used to doing it that the moment u send me that SMS telling me about the accident, that is the only thing that I can think of to make it a bit more bearable.

Of course deep in my heart, I wish that you get to finish it and give it to me. But now that it is lost, maybe it is fated to be that way. I know you spend lots of time knitting it, time and effort to be exact. If you actually feel sorry and bad, I'm telling you now, you dun have to. Is not your fault. Is my fault.

Suddenly, I'm looking forward to my own convocation and no more staying in my dormitory with very lousy internet connection.

is just a matter of happy or not

A state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection), that's the definition for relationship.

I finished He's just not that into you (finally) today, is not as good as i expected it to be hence it take so many day for me to sit through it. After watching the movie, I have a very strong thought in my brain, a relationship is not measure by time, effort or money, it is measured by happiness. It is that simple and it make sense, you are happy when your relationship is going right and healthy, vice versa.

I'm not sure how many people out there would agree with me, but my point of view is simple and clear, if you have more tear than laughter in a relationship, i would rather not have that relationship. Of coz, you can not have joyous moment all the time, but..... well, you get the idea la, if you try and try and try and u failed, maybe u should just stop trying.

You might gain more by giving up something else.
You should love yourself enough so that you can give the extra love for others instead of hoping them to shower you with love.

I once thought that I m really stupid and selfless because of how much I give up to make a person happy. I was wrong, DEAD WRONG. I m doing it because I want that person to happy, is not stupid or selfless, is a sense of existing, it make me feel that because of my presence, that person is a bit more cheerful. I know sometime I do complicate thing for a bit but is not my intention to do so, I just want you to know that you look prettier when you smile.

I m not sure u think I m pure 38 or not la, but I really hope that you can stop having false hope in him, you can be still be very close with him without being his lover lo. Dun lut jor okay? I m not that bad wut.

I'm sorry that I joke at the wrong time

I tend to blog more when I have free time or in the state of emo. In today case, I'm just too free.

I did nothing except thinking bout you, a lot.

I'm starting to wonder should I pick up ballet to fill my free time? Oh my god, I did it again. I have this ability to crap and have really ridiculous random idea buzzing out of my mind whenever I'm not using my brain to recall what I'm forgetting.I can never forget you, hence I never even bother to try doing so.

I developed this skill of turning any serious conversation to a mind blowing, heart stopping session of nonsense talking. I'm sure some people do enjoy this 'gifted ability' of mine, unfortunately, I have pissed off more people with it. I'm dying to hear your laughter here.

I don't know what's keep me going on behaving this way, maybe I'm a born joker or I'm just born with this personality of can't stay serious. Or maybe I just dunno how to talk, and hence I can only crap? Oh, and you know that my singing aren't that bad.


Shoot, I have not even touch on the real subject behind this entry. I know that I do this a lot but I am apologizing now to whoever that have experienced the following situation when they talk to me.

Sorry, again. I know I should not make stupid lame joke when I'm talking to you when you are having problem and need someone to hear you out.

I should have keep my mouth shut instead of mocking or talk in sarcastic manner when you are already in raging mood.

I should have offer you comforting words instead of going on and on about that funny little incident I came across today or 2 weeks back.

I hope you do understand that I dun mean to be rude or disrespect, but this is the only way I can think of to cheer you up a bit, I'm sorry if that back fire. I still love and care for you, a lot.
I know I should leave you alone, but I m learning to do so one step at a time.

trust me, okay?

Yeah, I dunno why my face just got so much darker. Any product to recommend?

This is the reply picture to Jimui's post.

I know is hard to please everyone, but sometime pleasing just one person can be just as tiring, if not tougher.

Human are lusted with greed, some have greater than the rest, while others might have just a little of it. You started to be nice with someone, then they expect you to be nicer, after that they demand you to treat him better and finally thought that they deserved the best treatment from you because they think they are special and all crap.

They make u feel guilty by making remark like you never treat them well enough, once a while they even come up with comment like you have not be sincere in friendship with them. They victimized themselves by claiming you making friend with them only to gain something or take advantage of them. They make ur day feel like shit because you know well that you treat every single of your friend equally.

They might think they are unique in someway and hence they required more attention and perhaps more love?!

What I wan to say is this is not the first time you do it, this is not the first time you have doubt our friendship, and I'm dead sure that it will not be your last. As I have said before, my stand have never change since I know you from day one. You are a good friend, a great friend to have, sometime even put me to shame with the effort you put in to make our friendship bond stronger. But just like every other relationship, you need trust to make it works. If you failed to trust me, then our friendship are doom to an unhappy end.

U seriously have no idea that how much you hurt me with your messages and false accusation.

Haircut

Finally went to have my haircut.

Do I look like Yamapi now?? Well, the answer is obviously a big NO. I spend 8 bucks on my haircut, and it was the best 8 bucks I ever spent. I will so much light-headed, literally. My head is lighter.

My grandpa is very happy once he saw me with my new haircut, I didn't go thro a day without him making remark about my long and untidy hair.

Why have i opted for a normal haircut instead of spending hundred in a saloon just like how I initially wanted? Simple, I dun have hundred to spend. And I m super lazy, just the thought of washing my long hair, drying it, styling it, oh God, I rather babysit my 4 cousins.

But right before I cut my hair, I oledi received plenty of complain from my fren and family. Saying that I look much better with a tidy hairstyle. Lol.

Just thought that you all might be wondering, the last time I went for a haircut was 4 months ago. See, I only need to spend 24 bucks annually for my hair. That is super affordable.

Joker

As most of you would have know, Heath Ledger won an Oscar for his role as Joker but it seems that there are a lot of politician here in Malaysia that can play Joker just as well.

Seriously, it's seem like Malaysian can't have enough of dosage of jokes and dramas that the Perak state assembly(PSA) is trying their best to keep us annoyed amused. I have been told that politician are great actor, but no one told me that they can only act in comedy genre. LOL.

While the whole world is dealing with recession, Malaysian have to deal with snatch thieves and Mat Rempit as well. So i guess having a laugh at the on going drama with the Perak state assembly will really HELP OUT with our stress level.

I m pretty sure that the people didn't opted the opposition so that they can have drama, they wanted a change with the 50 years of trend of BN dominating every election, they wanted people who can actually help to navigate the country forward and not backward, they don wan politician hu promise a lot but delivered little or worst, none.

But most of all, Malaysian were fed up with the ruling party. And the whole PSA drama proved that it was a wise decision to make back then, look at how the BN responded, look at the way they behaved.

I always told my fren around that Malaysia is a nice place to be at cept for few days in a year when the temperature is really crazily hot. But I am not too sure now.

Purpose of Life

Ever wonder why we live?

Ask a man who have God in his life, and he will tell you about is to learn God, live God and practice God.

Ask a man who have nothing in his life, and he will answer you that the purpose in his life is to hope to have something tomorrow.

Ask a man who hate everything in his life, and he will answer he live to hate.

Ask a man who have no clue in his life, and he will surely tell you he have no idea to that question.

Ask a man who have everything in his life, and he will answer you that the next thing he want is to live longer than anyone else.

Ask a man like me, and I will answer you that man live in this world to hurt each other and the rest of the living being.

Look around you, rich people build their wealth by exploiting the poor and take advantage of the not so lucky individual. Poor man who want to get rich and live easy will steal, rob, kill to achieve their target. All business in the world are resource consuming and further deplete our Earth. We feed on other living things, we work hard to earn more money and in 50-60 years time we will all die.

Lol, damn emo right? Nola, trust me, is just me doing some thinking.

Look, I am the baby/ I have a baby

The boy is so cute, innocently cute.

How old does the boy looks to you?

8/9? Wrong, is 13.

But the fact that he got a gal pregnant at the age of 12 and become a father at 13 is really shocking. The mum is only 15, WTF is wrong with our world?!?!

Call me pathetic if you wan for being a virgin at 21 but a father at 13?!?! I rather be the pathetic loser. And I m pretty sure that the baby DOESN'T HEART mummy and daddy once he know how sick his parent is.

Happy Valentine

Yes, Valentine is here. Well, it will be here in about 3 days time.

Isn't it a bit early to make a valentine post?

Yeah, but I dunno when I will have internet access again so I might as well make an early greeting.

To all happily in love couple, big cheer for you and may you be happier with ur partner for the rest of everyday but just remember not to spend too unwisely on Valentine Day.

To wish-to-get-laid-single-people out there, you just have to wait for next year's valentine. Oh wait, there are still Labor Day, National Day, Christmas, Hari Raya and all the eves, so you might get laid sooner than u think.

To all broken heart newly break up: Look on the bright side, at least you get to break up, yours truly have not been in a relationship for decades. Okay, that is cruel. There are 6 billion people out there, you shouldn't be sad for a breakup. Ask urself: Do you have enough love for 6 billion lover?!

To happily married couple, is a good day to leave your kids and housework at home and go for a fancy dinner. And yes, the husband should pay, no question about it. (mom, you will be so happy that I stand up for you in my blog)

To myself: You're are too good for any normal gal, that's why you have not meet the right 1 for you. (what a word of encouragement)

HAPPY SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY

As I flipped through the paper today, a news report caught my attention. It wasn't about the on going war in Israel , it wasn't about the recession that is tearing down every nation's economy. Is a report on the peace gathering of a number of Islamic group in Penang demanding people not to question the special right of the Bumi ( i m so screwed that i forgoten the word for it in English), never to try to abolish ISA and so on.

Ask anyone around me, and they can always tell u that I am no racists so everything that I wrote here is based on rationality and not bias.

First off, FUCK THE SPECIAL RIGHT. It should have long abolished not because of the unfairness, but because of it doing more harm than good to the economy, unity of Malaysian and individual accomplishment.

The special right was introduced back then to help the Bumi who are staying at rural area, Bumi who are earning very little or not earning at all, Bumi that has disadvantages with those living in the city. This was how the colonizer wan our country to be back then, different races living in different area having completely different job.

The special right was then to offset the damage done by the previous colonizer. To bridge the gap between those living in city (which happen to be mostly Chinese) and those far away from it.

But now the whole SPECIAL RIGHT FOR BUMI (SRFB) is abused so that some small group of people can obtained unimaginable wealth. It is no secret but anyone who wan to bring it up will 100% held custody by ISA.

You guess it right! FUCK ISA too!

Instead of allowing Malaysian to decide what is good for the country, they choose to shut down any chances of a true unity to really exists in Malaysia. They see individual who want to teach people to be a wise citizen as threat to the country. They see individual who want fix the severely damaged country by breeding intelectual group as disturber of the fake peace. Let the people listen to the voice of true and decide themselves whether to agree or disagree with.

The government want us to live in harmony between races, yet they are double standard-ing the people. Multiple unfair advantage/ incentive is provided to Bumi but not for the rest. We are all born, breed, grow, and die in the same land - Malaysia. Yet how come some are calling the others as squatter? As defined by some stupid lousy dictionary - Someone who settles on land without right or title IS A SQUATTER. So having our whole family here, paying taxes, contributing to the development of the country somehow make us unlawful to stay here?!?!

You work ur ass out to find every possible way to discrete Bumi and the rest, and you wan us to live like a big family with no differences? How is that even possible? You labeled and tagged us since we are born and you come and tell us we are the same? (harm to the unity of Malaysian)

I m not saying that Bumi get where they are today becoz the G-O-V-E-R-N-M-E-N-T help them alot, and without the SRFB, they will all fall to the ground. There are thousands of millions Bumi out there who work just as hard, but their accomplishment are not agreed by everyone because of this stupid SRFB thing.

The non-Bumi will think that the successful Bumi is successful because the bloody government help them a lot and want them to be successful. (harm to individual accomplisment)

And how many time do we come across project that is half way abandoned, complete project that has more defect than working parts. Lousy investment using the people's money. This are all directly or indirectly link to SRFB. We can't afford to pay 15 ringgit for thing that is has value of 5 ringgit or less.

In case you dunno, our country is running out of money oledi.

P.S: Let more read this entry if you can, you are helping Malaysia to become a better place to live. And feel free to leave comment, anonymously if you afraid of the ISA knocking on your door.