This is the second week of my first semester in Unimas, and the teaching and learning process have been going on rather well. I was informed that Statics is the killer subject but so far I really love the class a lot. Hope that as weeks comes by lessons will not be too tough, as I am a person who lacks perseverance.
Have my first class of Creative in English Writing class yesterday, the tutor is an American who has been staying at Malaysia since 1985(that is even b4 I was born so I not sure he is more American or more Malaysian). Anyway I like that class too because he taught us how to write with vision in your brain. Spend 30 bucks on one of the short-stories compile which was written by him( give us autograph instead of discount, I want the discount la sir).
Now I understand why Malaysian is so reluctant to read books. I bought a book written by a local writer and it cost me 30 bucks. And I bought this book titled Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and it cost me around 40 bucks too. The first thing I have in my mind after I purchased the book was omg it is really costly to be knowledgeable. Nuff said, though I have not finish the second book but it really teach interesting facts about men and women( hope I can be the Romeo of Kuching after I finish up the whole book).
Ok here I post along the essay I wrote last night. The idea struck me like some lighting in the class, I already figure out the whole thing from starting till the end in less than 10 minutes ( dunno here got class for Creative in Song Composing anot).
THEY FOUND ME
They found me. That is what I said to myself right before I meet up with them. I am feeling reluctant to see them. But this could be the last chance we see each other. I know I have been running away and hiding from them but deep in my heart I was hoping they will found me somehow. Now that it happens, I wish they will not be too unhappy with it.
I can still recall it then. We used to be so happy. Our house is full of joy and you can always hear noises of laughing echoes throughout the neighbor. I have a brother, he is 2 years younger than me. We share everything together and we are each best companion. Or so it seems to be at least.
The truth is I enjoy having his company but at the same time I felt enormous pressure as well. Because he always looks up on me, I am his mentor and everything he want to become. My parents are hoping I can be the first in the family to actually obtained a degree from university as my both my parents can’t afford to school when they are young. As days past, I feel more burden is rested on my shoulders. Deep inside my heart, thought of running away from it all grows stronger.
Finally, through some peer’s influence I come across something that promise to ease any pressure and pain. It was drugs. I was told once too many that it is absurd to ever touch them let alone to take them. But the fire of rebellious inside my heart urges me to go against the teaching for once. And so I took them. I felt really good, like I am no longer trouble by anything and free from it all. Actually it was the drug that makes my minds go ecstasy and couldn’t think of anything else. I was wrong to turn to drugs in the first place. I’m on my step to my own destruction, slowly but surely it won’t be soon before long.
Since I am still a student, so I don’t have the money to buy the drug. How can I stand the pain of not having something that means everything to me in the world? I started to lies to friends around and lend money from them. I even make up stories so that I can more pocket money from my parents. That goes on for months till I kill my own brother.
I was searching around the house looking for the secret box that my mom keeps her money in it just in case of emergency. I was delighted when I finally found the money that I have been searching for hours. That is when I bump into my brother, he told me that he knows everything that happened to me. He is very sad to know that his hero is no longer able to save the world but instead trying to destroy it. With five thousand dollars in my hand and 2 blocks away to my false salvation, the last thing I want is my brother to get in the way.
I try to get out of the house and he is holding my shirt, he try to pull and I try to push him away. Next thing I know he was lying in front of me in a bath of blood, I just push him down the stairways. I don’t know what to do. I just killed my only brother. The person who share all my experience for almost 20 years. Then a thought just strike my head, I have to run. I must run and run quickly. I must run and run far away from here. And so I did.
It has been 5 months since that fateful day. I was caught by the local authorities after failing a robbery attempt. And then I woke up. I don’t know how but I just woke up. I finally understand that since every problem started from me so the only way to end it all is to end my life. Just when I was about to hang myself, the warden came in and told me that my parents has come to see me. Should I meet them? I think of the same question for a million times in that 2 minutes I walk from my cell to the meeting room.
So now I am here standing, my parents is on the other side. I have so much to tell yet I can’t find a route to start it. I can sense tears lining down from my mother’s eyes. I can tell that my father is not angry but he is sad. And then he break the silence by saying : Son, I’m sorry. I can only cry. I can only cry so hard that even the dead will be awake. Father continue saying how much he love me but don’t seems to understand that he has be adding more and more burden to my body. He say he is sorry because he can’t give what I wanted the most – ears. Ears that listen to problem.
GO easy on me if I happen to make any grammatical error. That’s all, tata.
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