Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
You will be astonished by realizing that you don't really get it figure out after living for more than 20 years.
I once read that man are goal-oriented. They only feel living when they are working toward their target or goals. If that is the case then I am in deep shit right now. Why? Because I dun remember having any proper goal in my life. Dating a super model and owning my own football team is more of a dream, not goal.
Could it be that I have not been living at all for the past 23 years? What I was doing are just breathing, feast when I am hungry and sleep when I m tired. And even the last part I have not been doing well.
I found myself wondering where will I be in 5 years time? You know, when I am about to be 30 and living in denial of that fact. And it is making me really sad and scare that I actually have no idea how my life is going to turn out to be. Hell, I dun even know I am a dog or a cat person.
There is another saying about life: a life worth living is a life full of joy and happiness. If that is really true, then I am actually having quite a life right now. Because I am enjoying it and I feel happy most of the time.
Right now, my LIFE is just Living + Inappropriate + Fun + Ending ( I do not have suicidal thoughts, but somehow I think I will just die in some freaky accident)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I am not your bf. Hell, I am more like a stranger to you when there are others around.
Is true that you can never get rewarded with what you give or sacrifice in equivalent amount, but I guess I am at least entitled to a certain degree of appreciation, right?
Say whatever you want, call me by any nickname you like, one day you will definitely regret taking me for granted. I hope you realized the mistake you make and learn from it before you lose me forever.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Despite the fact that I am still 8 months away from finishing my course and 2 final exam in between, I often wonder what is like to be working and be financially independent (the perfect world situation la, I know that in reality: you never earn enough to be financially independent). I don't really think about the salary most of the time, but I do look forward to lots of work, bonding with your co-worker/supervisor/office gossiper, and no assignments.
95% of my mate who is working have been telling me that being a student is the best thing you can have and 80% out of this 95% of people dislike the fact that they are working class now. I come up with 3 possible conclusions:
- Working really suck. Not that studying is awesome, but working suck so much that it makes study cool, maybe.
- I mix with a bunch of people who simply dislike working.
- The working friends are missing the holidays a lot.
As for my conclusion, I think I need to work for a while before I can make up my mind.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
I have been lying on my bed a lot, to the point that I am impressed with how less movement I make in a whole day and yet I am not dead by my bed. I guess is good in the sense that I am actually spending less by doing less activity. Should I had discover this method long long time ago, I am now a love-deprived with some money, instead of being broke and out of love. HaHa.
Is kinda funny how I always thought that I have my future plan work out only to discovered that life is really unpredictable and I don't even know who am I. Maybe is not really funny, more like stupid or dumb due to the fact that you control every part of your body and mind yet you don't know who you are? How much dumber can it get?
On a happier note, I get to sleep much easier now.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Thank god I am going back, I am not sure how can I come up with more money if I continue to spend on outing like how I did on the past 15 days.
But I dun nid a rich wife to support me. I just need to have better control of my spending. Lol
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Even though sometimes things you do and sacrifice in the name of love is not appreciated the way you want it to be, or worst still, people take for granted and thought that you have the obligation to be nice to them and treat them like queen or king; you shouldn't just stop loving so easily.
This kind of advise is really plain dumb and shouldn't be taken seriously at all. There are about 6.9 billions people living on earth, you will never have enough love for everyone. So if that person dun appreciate your love at all, you might as well give it to someone else.
Stop thinking that by doing so makes you a mean and heartless person, you are being mean to yourself if you try to fool yourself that someday that person is going to change his/her mind and treat you better in the future. They won't, no matter how hard you hope or how bad you pray, they won't wake up 1 day and appreciate you suddenly.
It sucks to be me right now, as much as I want to take all my love away, I just can't do it no matter how I try to convince myself.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Despite the fact that 2010 is the 53rd years since we first declared independency, we are still very much restricted by people who set unfair restriction on us. These people are the politician in the ruling government. Time and time again, they throw ISA bomb on us, lying to our face in the name of following clauses in the Printing Presses and Publication Act.
How stupid can we be? U think just because people keep their mouth shut and never bring up some unpleasant issue, then the issue with cease to exist? U think we are so buying ur crap on the whole Malaysia economy measured by GDP is really growing with double figure? Ask any1 with a still functional brain, and they will have no problem telling you, despite the demonstration and riot in Thailand, the previous scandal of lousy greedy Presidency in Indonesia, these two country have no problem getting international group to invest in their country. Eat that, u bunch of jokers in Malaysia.
Try la go ask any business man, uncle in kopitiam, aunty in grocery stall,
But I m sure you put the uncle under custody using ISA as soon as he share his view on the way how the PM, DPM and their good Minister friends are making a fool of themselves. Don't you know people that is under heavy influence of caffeine is exempted from taking responsible on the honest truth they speak in kopitiam?
Seriously, u think u can fight the power of Internet with ur
To all those blogger who screams FML because they gained extra pound, the narcissism who just took an awful picture of herself, or simply because they are called bimbo which is exactly true. I say F YOUR LIFE because u r a Malaysian who cannot blog freely.
Still considering the fact that I get holiday on 31st August, is only fair that I wish everyone else Happy Independence Day.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
How badly I try to sleep, yet I only manage to sleep so little.
No one understand how much I am telling myself not to think about it, but yet the images keep haunting me.
On the bright side, I am about 3 weeks away from meeting my friends and family again. Gosh, I miss them a lot
Monday, August 2, 2010
First, my beloved call me before everyone else send their message. She even sing me a birthday song. She is not the only one though. Very much later on my birthday, Miss Quek called and sang me one very out of tempo, out of tune, but packed with love version of Happy Birthday.
Happy fact: Is time like these that I am once again reminded how much people around me that love me.
And there are cakes. I dun remember having two cakes on my own birthday before this. Is actually one and a half because I am sharing one with my course-mate whose birthday is on the 30th too. The cakes is awesome, have a slice of the cheese cake in the morning and some chocolate cake in the evening.
Funny fact: The cheese cake is actually lot bigger than the chocolate cake, but I end up eating more of chocolate cake which is weird because I always hated chocolate cake.
Karaoke session after the steamboat dinner. Not everyone enjoy it, but I was having a great time. Okay la, that is not fair. I guess only people who like singing enjoyed karaoke, those who dun sing will never empathize on it.
Serious fact: Next time you wanna screw the asshole who spoil every single song he sing along to, just pick 浮夸。 and you will be amazed by the result. HaHa
And there was drinking session on the next night. see? People here in Kuching have a life too. Prior to the previous experience of drinking lousy Heineken, we opted for some cheap Whiskey instead. And as more people joined in, I lost track of time and start puking by the road. Lol.
Plain boring fact: You can read about it on my previous entry provided that you can read some Chinese character. These might come up handy: 醉is drunk. 吐is puke. Figure the rest of it yourself. Haha
Last but not least, I received gifts too. Although my stupid working brother didn't get me anything, not even half a boxer. I still get something handmade and one very lovely gift from another beloved.
Thanks guys. I wish my birthday is next week, in that case, I can do it all over again. ^^
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Is 1 month too soon? Is 3 month too soon? How about half a year? A year?
Was a bit shocked to found out a friend of mine who I always see as a typical gaming nerd hiding in his dorm room got himself a girl friend in the span of 2 months industry training. Then the-forever-smart Mr. Tan says: Remember bout you and the gal working for the promoter job? Was it less than a month?
Oh wtf, I totally forgotten bout that.
See, there are no such thing as too soon or too long when comes to developed affection toward a person. Some take years, like a good old whisky; while others claimed to be sort of like love at first sight.
Sometimes the fondness come in the form of a giant tsunami, carrying you to an uncharted area with no warning. It can also take shape of small calm wave by the shoreline, gently caressing your feet.
So dun worry bout what the rest of the world tell you, you can move on when you are ready to move on. If you are not, you can take all the time you need to ready yourself.
What's the fun of doing something if you know that outcome of it from the beginning? That is why leap of faith is so much more exciting. Ms Quek just took 1 herself, and now I wonder when will I be doing so too?
Monday, July 19, 2010
我希望听到你开始多一些说：好，我要。 因为你现在都只会说：no, thank you.
And Brad Pitt is in the movie too. How I miss Brad? Inglorious Basterd (last year) was pretty enjoyable but is nowhere as good as Se7en(1995) or Fight Club (1999, if i m not mistaken). Is not hard to admit that he is indeed very yummy looking. More reason to hate Angelina, i guess.
The movie is themed on 7 deadly sins of man:
I have yet to watch Inception, despite the whole FB is flooded with rave from almost everyone, I doubt it will be as good as Cashback.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
So imagine how happy I am that I can actually recall the dream I had yesterday. I am happy that I can remembered it, but I am actually confused with the dream itself.
I was helping in the shop that I previously worked in, but I am not actually paid to work in the dream. I volunteered to help out. Everyone is in the shop except that one person that matters more wasn't there.
But instead of packing product of the shop, I am actually dealing with floppy disk (which is somehow relate to this one time when I help my friend to put CD in cover), who on earth use floppy disk now anyway?
Then someone's phone rang. That someone pick up the phone and start talking. Then she look at me, pause a while, and told the other end: Your ex-bf is here, you wanna come?
She hung up the phone and says: she will only come over earliest by October.
and then the dream end. Fade into total blackness.
I am not sure what is it about? But could it be telling me that I shouldn't look backward and look forward instead?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
I once make such accusation in the past and I really regretted it. I hope you will not make the same mistake as mine.
You know that you are more than just a good friend to me, in fact, if i ever have a GF in the future, she will not know me better than you do.
Can we just go back to how we were back then?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I m growing more and more restless because of not having anything to achieve in my life.
I know I need to have something yet I dunno what I want for now.
Can some1 help me out? Just a little suggestion to kick start my ass
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
People always say that so long as you put in your effort, then you will have nothing to regret bout. But endless disappointment can be quite sad, and slowly you will start to have less faith and even less hope. Hope is for people who have strong believe, not those emotional unstable people like me.
So instead of hoping something to happen, I am now taking action and make things happen. Wish me luck eh!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
You need to be strong and toughen up, you will meet a better lover.
You need to start moving on now, he/she is doing alright since the break up.
These are the most common line that you might get from your friend who is trying to make you feel better. No break up are easy. Break up can be ugly, nasty, draggy, silently (as in one side just choose to vanish into thin air and not picking your call anymore), but never easy.
Moving on are equally tough.
You can tell the whole world that you moved on, you can even be in a new relationship with someone hu seems to be lot better than your previous bf/gf. But beneath all the happy smile, you still thought of he/she a lot.
You go around telling how much you hate him/her for cheating on you, for breaking your heart but somehow you know very well that you still care a lot bout them.
You can get all your friend to cheer you up, take all their advices, go for some sort of escapade and get drunk, but in the end you need to really forgive before you can forget. It will be all yourself, no matter how many good friend you have to support you, it will be all down to you.
I never doubted that I give all my support to my friends who needed them, I gave my 110% for them. But I know sometimes that is just not enough for them, they need to give their 110% as well.
So please don't hope that I can endlessly support you, because even Superman need to rest and make love with Lois Lane, Spiderman need to earn his living by working as a newspaper photographer.
I don't want to feel that way, but you are making me starting to doubt that all my effort is going down the drain.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Sometimes you just need to be selfish and put yourself first.
Sometimes you try too hard to please everyone, you end up hurting everyone.
Sometimes the person that you love the most is that one person that you know very well you can never be with no matter how hard you try.
Sometimes you need to be cruel, even though you are always the nice guy.
Sometimes you think you understand love, but actually you only know love just the way you want it to be.
Sometimes I just wish I can runaway from all these sometimes.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Whether you call it sneaker or shoes or something else, you know I m talking bout the thing that you wear on to your feet.
Despite the fact that I own the most pair of shoes in my family, I still think is alright to get another pair or two, especially now there are so many awesome design out there.
Although, Nike has some really marvelous design but I m getting sick of seeing so many ticks whenever I go. I mean, is really pure madness to see so many pairs of Nike on the road.
My current love: A canvas shoes from Cotton On that I bought for 29.90. Lol
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
As soon as my lil bump rested upon the seat of the van with a malfunction air-con, I am thrilled. The old familiar of sweating under the hot sun in a stuffy van, the bouncy feeling due to the super lousy suspension or because the van doesn't have one.
I used to ride in the van when I was in primary school, my uncle was running errand and delivering goods to customers, and I always tag along. Despite the hot weather and bouncy feeling, I always fall asleep easily in the van.
So imagine how happy I am when I start to feel the hot air breezing through my face as the van pick up speed, of coz I didn't like the dust, but still not everything is perfect ma. I just rest my head by the opened window and let my mind be free of any thought, from work, from family, from friends who appreciate you and don't appreciate you enough.
Is like me being 11 all over again when I m actually 23. Gosh, I am such a sucker for lingering on old memories.
p.s: It seems that it doesn't matter how close you and I, and how much I care for you, you still think see me as a second class, at least I am always second grade to that another guy, I am just the guy that you will show your ugly side to, but never your softer side.
p.s: I witness how you try so hard to wipe your tears off when you are riding in my car, the question that I wanted to ask really bad: Is he worth it?? Please stop using dunno how as an excuse!
p.s: If you think I am nice to you all because I am attracted to you and wanna woo you, then sorry la, my dear, you r dead wrong. I have no problem helping a friend in need, but if you think that I MUST help you out when you need assistance, you better think again. I dun even think that you are half as nice as how I treat you.
p.s: I might always be smiling and makes sarcastic remark right after I say: I like you, but I really mean it. So please stop having doubts and believe in me and you.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Is salted vege with tofu, tomato and carrot soup. Maybe too much water was added so somehow not gao enuff.
I wan ABC soup, Miss Quek says she is going to make me 1 when she come back. Hopefully she is not lying la.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I am doing my internship in a construction material laboratory company, my job start on 8.30, so I have to wake up around 7o clock if I want to prepare my own breakfast, or 7.20 if I wan to sleep longer because the night before
Lunch break is at 12.30. I wish it is at 11.30 because I always get hungry by 11. One hour only lo my break time so I just eat at the nearby mamak stall and spend the saved time resting or read newspaper. OMG, i sound like those old man that has been working in the same company for the past 20 years.
5.30 is the happiest moment of my life. I will punch out in record speed and zoom back home to remove the dusty jeans as soon as possible.
Then dinner at home lo, I guess my mommy took my Miss HER COOKING statement too strong, so she want me to have dinner at home as much as possible.
And I have to work on Saturday too. Stop smirking. Don't mock me just because I am soft.
Yer, why this entry sounds very boring 1? Because internship is boring la. Duh
Friday, April 30, 2010
To be frank, I am actually more toward being nice than being soft. I do believe that if you try to fight fire with fire, you end up having a gigantic blaze up in your ass.
So LWL, i think you should take my advise instead, try to be softer, k?
Saturday, April 24, 2010
As soon as I sit down, she look at me and said: You are thinner.
she: You really are thinner than before.
me: is that even possible? Given that I am so thin before this.
she: You beat the odd, then.
me: lets eat!
I had fried rice, soya bean, and burger. Slam it down~~~~~
Ouch, am I actually shrinking thinner? OMG, I m going to take my breakfast now. Bye~~~~
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Luan Luan Kongg. Nah, now I write in English lo, okay? I am doing it only for you lo, because you are the most important woman in my life. So I think is right about time I get more allowances. HaHaHa.
In a week time, I will once again get to drink mommy's warmth and delicious soup. I'm homesick to the max. Could this possible be the reason why I can't sleep at night?! I don't think it has anything to do with the final exam.
Beside my family, there are a lot of people that I am missing too. Khai Lin la, Sheanne la, Yoko la, Kah Lun la, Mei Cheeng la, Cindy la, Sheirly la, Wen Qian la, and also Fat Xiong and Gay Xiang. My brain also can't recall all the name lo
The only thing I am not hoping to be greeted by is the super hot weather of KL.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
I told him:
Is not suppose to be so hard, right? I mean gals are hard to understand la, but love is simple wut.
I wonder what went wrong......
Friday, April 9, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sometimes I look at the person sitting opposite of me, and he/she look up and caught me looking at them. I gave a red-faced smile and quickly bow my head down or look somewhere else.
Sometimes I look at my hand, carefully inspecting fingers and nails, removing the dirt caught in it, or just vigorously rubbing the hand and feel the heat on the palm.
Sometimes I look at my notepad, tentatively reading crap or outdated tutorial example and solution.
Sometimes I look at the doodle or scribble written on the table by some student with heart fill of vandalism and hooliganism.
Sometimes I look at my shoes and get annoyed with the mud spot on it.
No wonder I didn't get much from most of the lecture class, because I am distracted by different thing in that 120 minute.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Wanted to write this in Chinese initially so that people who can’t read Chinese will not think that I am racist, but after much consideration, I decided to write it in English so that everyone can get whatever that I am trying to express here.
I love Malaysia, the food, the people, the street,
Mid Valley, the weather and etc. But one thing that I don’t like at all is how we are being fooled by the government (actually not the whole organization, but merely some top position in the Cabinet) of this whole 1Malaysia campaign. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the unity among different races concept. But is just a task that can never be accomplished. At least it is not achievable so long as the government continue on with the policy of Bumiputera Superiority (BS).
Okay, some might start to say that I am playing with fire by bringing this sensitive issue up. That is not my intention: to stir up more displeasure of non-Bumi. NO. I am talking something bigger here. I am always against any double standard in anything. Since young, we are taught to be fair and everyone deserved equal right and chance in everything. Yet, in real life…… (fill in anything that you like here)
One thing great about human is the way we adapt to things, unlike animal, we can adapt in different kind of situation and environment. So I am getting use to this BS, and I will never get to do anything to change that. Is just that I’m really fed up by this joke they play with the 1Malaysia thing right now.
I think I should really move into the real reason I wrote this post.
So today is April Fool, and I was listening to the news on radio (yeah, u heard me right, the news). There is this news about DPM making the following remark: Malay special right will always come first, 1Malaysia will follow behind.
Then the news continued on about our PM backing his deputy: DPM is right. He is just quoting what is stated in the Constitution(okay, I’m sorry if I didn’t get the term right, but in Bahasa, is Perlembagaan).
As if the first news about the DPM is not hilarious enough, the second news did well to outshine the former. I was laughing in my heart when I heard the news.
The government is
throwing spending multimillion to promote and instill the whole 1Malaysia spirit in our people. The concept is really splendid, one big united family consisting different races. No more distinguishing between Malay, Chinese, Indian and the rest of minority races. We are equal, we are loving each other as a family. We share everything, the Bumi have BS, the non-Bumi have nothing.
See where the problem lies? It doesn’t really look equal and fair, isn’t it? You are telling us to unite and walk hands in hands to prosperity and 2020, yet you sit on top of everyone playing with superiority and second class. How can we be really united? Is only human nature that we feel envy or jealous of people having advantage over us, is not a crime for us toe feel that way.
Stop pouring more money into the whole 1Malaysia thing if you still want to hold on to the special right. Withdraw the so called 1Malaysia F1 team which is the most absurd idea I ever heard, unity of a nation on the back of a 4 wheel racing car?
Just leave us as how we are previously, and by that I meant the pre-1Malaysia period. We are doing pretty well anyway, spend that hundred million on developing the country infrastructure and improve the quality of US, the people’s life and welfare.
P.S: As I stated previously, this is my blog, I’m just giving my point of view on things I seen, I experienced and I felt.
P.P.S. : I turn on anonymous comment so that anyone of you can just give your comment without needing your ID.
Monday, March 29, 2010
It is thesis rushing period for lots of final year student right now, but not for me because I am not in my final year yet (ouch). In fact, by the time I graduate, my younger brother would have been working for almost 30 months. Yes, that is how much I am lagging behind.
But becoming a working class is not something I look forward to, I am looking forward to graduation, marriage, having kids, dying, but not working. HaHa. 8 people out of 10 told me that you miss student life as you start to work. I never like studying, but if working makes you miss your student life, that pretty much tell you how suck it is to work (is this sensible to u?).
Wa, where is the wise words? I have been vomiting lots of rubbish for the past 5 minutes. Guess I really should take a break from blogging.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
I thought: Maybe my brain and heart are finally working together to help me to move on.
Then I caught a glimpse of something small or not even important, but this small unimportant thing reminded me of her, and I start to remember things about her. Like a 1000 pieces of jigsaw, I assembly and sort out pieces by pieces, slowly finishing up the puzzle. Sometimes it will only take me a few hours to get it done; sometimes days.
Once the puzzle is completed, I will just stare at it forever, nostalgia is running through my vein, memory is inhibiting my mind, sadness is dwelling in my heart. They tend to stay there for a long time, till I woke up one day and the whole process just start all over again. Maybe a scene from movie or just a cup of coffee, sometimes I have to deal with a new piece of puzzle but I always solved it and feel sad.
Is tiring, but I like the feeling of being tired, is like I’m found my sense of belonging in those tiredness. Is not something explainable or sense making, just like love, you can never explain it to your friend no matter how hard you try, you have to feel it, you cannot touch it, but you can sense it.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I m not bored, I just want to wish my roommate happy birthday. Tan Khang Yee, u silly bastard, you are 23 today. Next year this time, you will be 24 and 2 months later, hopefully we can all say bye bye to assignments and final exam.
For those who have no clue, my roommate is my coursemate as well. He is like the only friend I have in my Civil Engineering program.
I'm hearing lots of murmur about how sad is that.
Is not sad at all, all I ever needed is a friend who can understand me, share my point of view, laugh at my jokes and not being lame. And so far Mr. Tan here is fitting the role pretty good, of coz I would have prefer my roommate to be nympho with a height of 165cm and we can do all kind of naught things together in the room, but life is never perfect lo. So i just have to live with that la.
Not sure how often he check my bog but if you see this, you know that I actually have been real nice to you and post up my wishing here in my personal playground.
I am not going to get him any gift because I know he will not buy me any present come my birthday.
I wan present la, so whoever is reading this entry and have a couple bucks extra to spend, get me a birthday present la. Seriously, it can be chewing gum or a pairs of shoes, as long as it come with a nice wrapping, i will take it. Yes, I know I am cheap.
One thing that is common in my dream is I never quite remember what was is about, I don't really care because I am never those people who like to remember the dream and try hard to understand and find meaning behind it.
Some people believe that there is psychic power behind dream, others like to associate dream with stress or just thoughts. Well, i certainly hope that I can control my dream so that I can choose whatever outcome that I want.
I hope that I can have a good dream tonight, and if it is good, the I certainly want to remember it. Not that I want to live my life in a dreamland, but who would want to have nightmares when they can have good one?
I think I m starting to love sleeping more and more, I just hope that I don't have to wake up feeling really tired after sleeping for too long. HaHa, ironic right?
I come across this very very sad line just late yesterday: If I have never meet you, then I will never have to leave you. And somehow it just resonate with my heart, and this same familiar sting was felt.
I have lots of chips today and I m seriously bliss after consuming them. And even though I get real thirsty after that, I don't care, because I have lots of water here. HaHa
Chatted with a few friend from different places,
- a currently working friend is actually planning to get a degree in Civil Engineering, is he inspired by me?!?
- a soon to be graduating friend who just went back to Hobart and never even inform me. There I was waiting for her reply after i SMS-ed her.
- another soon to grad friend who share my pain and thoughts quite a bit, the weird thing is we are never close.He actually show me this very nice blog post. Definitely worth your 5 minutes ( make it 10 if u are a slow reader)
Friday, March 12, 2010
But I did my part, and I hope you can get something out of it.
One thing that I remember most vividly is when she says: The day that I stop nagging, that is the day I stop loving and no longer care.
Just like how I always put it: We can never choose our family like how we have the choice for friend.
YLP, dun hold grudges, appreciate everything that you are having.
Ehm, because I always feel good after doing so.
Friday, March 5, 2010
I still get excited and happy over little simple things.
One thing that I will never exchange for anything else in the world is my VOICE. Because without it, I can never sing my lungs out.
I have one of the best karaoke session yesterday night and now I have even stronger urge to get vocal training to improve on this 1 thing that I really love. How how?!?!
I woke up and saw that there are new Bearbrick releasing, OMG. And the design makes me love it the very moment I saw it. How am I suppose to save money for trips if I keep spending madly this way?
And witnessing the flow of affection and love between DaiLou and gf makes me smile. I never show in on my face, but deep inside my heart, I am smiling and I still believe in love.
Question of the day: Should I watch Alice in Wonderland in 3D??!?! hemmmm......
Thursday, March 4, 2010
You never treasure everything that you are having
You keep on complaining about not having much when you actually got plenty
You think you are right and everyone else are just wrong
You say you want a lover that is not clingy, but you grasp on the past like your life is hanging by it
You broke promise to yourself over and over and over again
There is an inner voice inside me telling me all these, and it is slowly driving me insane.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
接下来，陆陆续续他推出了不少的好歌，《明年今日》，《夕阳无限好》,《K歌之王》，《大开眼戒》，《shall we talk》等等。这个时候，我对他还是保持着中立的态度，觉得他的歌是可以一听，但没有到很喜欢的地步。
Monday, February 22, 2010
I just had one really mixed feeling Chinese New Year holiday.
I get tipsy after having only 2 cans of Beer.
I was disappointed by some remark by my friends when I open up and tell them my problem. I thought they could at least be sympathy not sarcastic when I am that vulnerable.
I enjoy gambling a lot, although I think I only get to break even after many night of winning and losing.
I am happy and glad that some of my friends whom I get really fond of cares and console me when I needed them.
I am disappointed, still am, with my immaturity. For god's sake, please stop being a boy and grow up as a man.
I am shocked by how easily the tears gushing out from my eyes. You are sure to see the most ugly side of me if you were around me that moment, but the sensation after crying is really awesome.
I think I also developed an appetite for Whisky. On the rock please, and BOTTOMS UP.
2010 is not the most happy CNY for me, but is one CNY that I discover lots of about myself.
P.s: The only way to go is up when you hit rock bottom.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I told her she has my full support on her decision to be in a new relationship so that she can move on from the previous one. People who always talk about what is wrong or right in a relationship most probably be thinking that is very inappropriate to go into a relationship with such aim in their mind.
Well, all I can say that is all human being are selfish, just that everyone has SELFISHNESS to a different degree and they apply it to various aspect of life. I think is really WRONG for others to actually say that a person is WRONG just because she want to make herself happier and not to be tormented by something of the past by a person who doesn't appreciate her the way she is suppose to be deserving.
Maybe I should just fall in love with you, I know I am much happy with you in everything as compare to her.
Friday, February 12, 2010
I think you should tell your fren when u feel that you are not being appreciated the way u deserve.
I seen a lot of taxi driver trying hard to cheat foreign tourist today.
Some foreign tourist are actually quite smart.
I have lots of thought when I saw you serving coffee.
I like it best when you flash your smile.
I listen to every words that Fui Ying and Jessica said.
Even though I might look distracted, but I'm actually listening.
I talk quite a bit with Frederick.
I tried but I can't hate you. Hahaha
I was asked a lot of question by Lut and BF.
Dun mess with my brain anymore, I will not tolerate with these.
I been through a lot today. I think I am content at this moment.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Then there was C, a really close friend, our relationship is as good as any crazily-in-love couple. Never been a day that I didn't send or receive sms from her.
Is been a while since I last talk to fren D, never bother to sms her because she will never reply me neway. So I go through the phonebook in my phone and dial her number, she didn't pick up. Nvm la, maybe she is busy ba.
Then suddenly sent a random sms to E just to sulk a bit. E is like a real nice elder sister to me.
In the end, F, a close acquaintance of E sms me and sorta sulk to me pula. F is a really nice friend to have and has one of the kindest heart I have ever come across.
So now, I'm worry about A, please tell me how r u doing now.
I'm pretty sure B has her problem too. Next time just tell me la.
C, believe me when I say that I really care and want you to be happy.
I miss the voice of D, hope she pick up my phone call ba.
Remember to go Karaoke and Broga Hill with me lo, E.
First thing I do once I reach KL is to meet and you going to treat me for dinner ya, F.
Do you know which alphabet are you?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Weather is real good.
Class and assignments are just ngam ngam right.
Not feeling any discontentment at all.
Not being unsatisfied with anything at all.
And I m having this weird urge of doing something that I previously never thought of wanting to do. But somehow I m liking this weird urge.
All set and in the right mood to celebrate Chinese New Year. Woohoo~~
How I miss this kind of happy sensation running through every vein in my body.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
February is coming real soon. I always like February, because it is short. Hey, now that I'm typing it out, me and February has something in common: SHORT.
Well, most of my blog post is just as SHORT as me. So now even my post has something in common with February. I might as well be using February as Month of my blog for no good reason.
*I know that I have let a few person around me down recently, but I promise to reorganize and live up to your expectation.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
OMG, I have the urge to go shopping again. Shit. How how?
Some people get happy and satisfied by drinking liquor, some by inflicting pain on others, by eating delicious food. My satisfaction is simply dressing myself with lots of nice clothes. Am I simple or just plain bimbo?
Okay la, I do feel crazily happy whenever I sing. And singing in my room doesn't cost me anything, but I like shopping too la. Cannot izit? Why can't I shop as much as I sing?!?! Oh, right right. I m still broke.
I am so going to spend when I go back to KL, hopefully with enough money lo and with the person that I wan la. Woi, you know who you r, right?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Somehow the clock seems to tick in much slower manner. Every second is felt like 3 seconds, or at least 2.5 seconds which makes me feel that I have spend 5 weeks here.
TKY says is because I'm looking forward to CNY too much, too agitated, too excited. When you want it to come sooner, somehow that thing manage to come take its own sweet time and came much slower. That's irony.
I have another explanation for it, is most likely I feel restless because of lack of sleep. And when I'm restless, time seems to past slower. But the reason for me having trouble sleeping remain unknown to me. Boo~~~~
Class has been alright up to now. Last semester result was the worst of my 5 semester here. But what done is done. No use crying over spilt milk anymore.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I call it the Woke Up On the Wrong Side of the Bed.
Nothing is wrong actually, except that you yourself feeling something is missing, even though you can never explain what it is. I am having one right now.
Could be the weather, could be the sickening cough that is still bothering me, could be me stupidly missing someone, could be lack of sleep, it might well be all of these together.
But I'm sure this will not be the last time I'm having it, good news is, it always go away the next day unless it get stubborn and wanted to stay longer lo~
Hopefully the weather will get better real soon, and I'm trying my best to stay away from any cold drink, having more nap whenever I have the chance, and consoling myself that 10th of February is just 24 days away.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
No money broke, not heart-broken broke.
Ya, I know, is not the first time I say that. But those previous complain about me being broke is just sorta like a reminder for myself to control my spending. And it sorta works as I do notice some sort of improvement on the depletion of my account balance. But sadly, that kind of improvement is not enough to stop me from being officially broke.
Looking back, I come to my sense that I was indeed spending too frantically,crazily and stupidly. Spending money that I never have, well, as in spending while not making any money. And not buying stuff using credit card and then paying minimum amount stated on the monthly statement.
The sad thing here is I cannot remember since when I started to spend money like how I am doing right now. But at least now I know where my problem is, and I shall start to find way to remedy it before it is too late.
I will start by eating dirt cheap lunch which consist of vegie and rice only. Okla, I need to cut down on my crave to buy shirts, pants, shoes. And to avoid fancy or luxurious looking eatery in the future unless is valentine, mom's bday, my bday,
But of course there are something that I will not give in lo, like making phone call to friends to
I'm looking forward to have my salary by the end of the month, because I need to pay the money I owe my parents. I guess there will be no clothes for this coming CNY. lol
*decided to write unimportant stuff like my financial condition instead of some church torching incident that seems to be on everyone's blog.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Guess I'm never a guy with plan, is cute when you are 13/14, but is pain in the ass when you are 22. How can one grown adult has no plan for his future? I can argue that my plan now is to graduate with my degree by 2011. But that is not plan, that is nature running at its own course. Unless I fail some of my subject, I will always be graduating by then.
Beside being lazy, I guess I like it when I'm not restricted by any plans in any part of my life. But lately, I m having second thought bout that statement.
You see, a promise is a kind of plan as well. And plan can be a guideline to how you live your life. What I see as a downfall can work as an advantage as well.
Living my life with no plan has not been great for me, so maybe I should try having plan in my life to see how far can I go with it. Ouch, that is going to take a great deal of effort for a lazy ass like me. LOL
Monday, January 4, 2010
You look disappointed when I gave it back to you when you requested for it. U say: HOW can you give it away just like that? It doesn't cost anything but is priceless in the sense of how much it meant.
It was the first time I see you showing such a sad face, I didn't know you treasure it that much. But believe me when I tell you that I treat it as part of me right now. I never remove it from my hand except when taking this picture (duh).
It still has that special scent of yours whenever I put my nose near and smell it. I think I am addicted to that scent. I wish that I have something that I could give you, and you would think of me whenever you look at it, but seriously I dun smell good. ( it doesn't mean that i smell bad la)
I kept my promise so long as you keep yours. Lui Yan.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
I dun do this normally, but is my brother here that is making strong statement bout me on a blog. A public blog that anyone can just come in and read. As much as I dislike/hate/wan him die, I will never, I repeat never use blog to attack or show my displeasure to a person so openly.
So out of a sudden, you think I enjoy making fun of you la? You think I have so much free time to care about a random gal if she is not my brother's interest? I rather use that time to dig and clean my nose up.
I dun feel angry, pissed, or mad. Is something that is lots more worst than that. I m disappointed. Call him the brother, call him the close fren, call him anything you want, but I thought growing up together meant something, but I m wrong, it meant nothing.
Go figure it out yourself, hu's the one hu always make an effort to make you look better but was never appreciated? Hu's the one hu call, msg u when u make the decision to not continue ur advance diploma? Hu's the one hu have to put up with ur lousy bad joke and worrying hu might u piss off all the time? Hu's the one hu always include you in his plan even after time after time u say no?
I swear to god if you are not my brother, I dun have to put up with all this shit. I m serious, I m this close of giving up on you. And thanks for spoiling my last day here in KL. U might not know that u did a FANTASTIC job here, but thumbs up for u. Now I will have to spend the rest of my day in grumpy mood.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Another 2 day before I will be back to the jungle, LOL.