Monday, March 29, 2010

when is my big G?

This blog deserve a proper entry, some food for thought, no ranting, no complain, no displeasure, just some wise~0~words.

It is thesis rushing period for lots of final year student right now, but not for me because I am not in my final year yet (ouch). In fact, by the time I graduate, my younger brother would have been working for almost 30 months. Yes, that is how much I am lagging behind.

But becoming a working class is not something I look forward to, I am looking forward to graduation, marriage, having kids, dying, but not working. HaHa. 8 people out of 10 told me that you miss student life as you start to work. I never like studying, but if working makes you miss your student life, that pretty much tell you how suck it is to work (is this sensible to u?).

Wa, where is the wise words? I have been vomiting lots of rubbish for the past 5 minutes. Guess I really should take a break from blogging.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

shhhh, secret

Password is my nickname.

Friday, March 26, 2010

I spent the whole day thinking and missing a person, I have a strong intuition that I will have dream about this person and I will wake up missing her more. Yet when I woke up the next day after a long night of random weird nightmare, I feel that I sort of miss her less. Then for the next few days, somehow memory and feeling for that person become more and more vague.

I thought: Maybe my brain and heart are finally working together to help me to move on.

Then I caught a glimpse of something small or not even important, but this small unimportant thing reminded me of her, and I start to remember things about her. Like a 1000 pieces of jigsaw, I assembly and sort out pieces by pieces, slowly finishing up the puzzle. Sometimes it will only take me a few hours to get it done; sometimes days.

Once the puzzle is completed, I will just stare at it forever, nostalgia is running through my vein, memory is inhibiting my mind, sadness is dwelling in my heart. They tend to stay there for a long time, till I woke up one day and the whole process just start all over again. Maybe a scene from movie or just a cup of coffee, sometimes I have to deal with a new piece of puzzle but I always solved it and feel sad.

Is tiring, but I like the feeling of being tired, is like I’m found my sense of belonging in those tiredness. Is not something explainable or sense making, just like love, you can never explain it to your friend no matter how hard you try, you have to feel it, you cannot touch it, but you can sense it.

Thursday, March 18, 2010











Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mr Tan

Sup? surprise to see me back here so soon right, peep?

I m not bored, I just want to wish my roommate happy birthday. Tan Khang Yee, u silly bastard, you are 23 today. Next year this time, you will be 24 and 2 months later, hopefully we can all say bye bye to assignments and final exam.

For those who have no clue, my roommate is my coursemate as well. He is like the only friend I have in my Civil Engineering program.

I'm hearing lots of murmur about how sad is that.
Is not sad at all, all I ever needed is a friend who can understand me, share my point of view, laugh at my jokes and not being lame. And so far Mr. Tan here is fitting the role pretty good, of coz I would have prefer my roommate to be nympho with a height of 165cm and we can do all kind of naught things together in the room, but life is never perfect lo. So i just have to live with that la.

Not sure how often he check my bog but if you see this, you know that I actually have been real nice to you and post up my wishing here in my personal playground.

I am not going to get him any gift because I know he will not buy me any present come my birthday.

I wan present la, so whoever is reading this entry and have a couple bucks extra to spend, get me a birthday present la. Seriously, it can be chewing gum or a pairs of shoes, as long as it come with a nice wrapping, i will take it. Yes, I know I am cheap.

no one ever say it is easy

Been having lots of dream with different random people, people that I have not meet for long time, people that I used to be close with but no longer, and the weird part is I never had any dream with people that I spend a lot of time with or close to.

One thing that is common in my dream is I never quite remember what was is about, I don't really care because I am never those people who like to remember the dream and try hard to understand and find meaning behind it.

Some people believe that there is psychic power behind dream, others like to associate dream with stress or just thoughts. Well, i certainly hope that I can control my dream so that I can choose whatever outcome that I want.

I hope that I can have a good dream tonight, and if it is good, the I certainly want to remember it. Not that I want to live my life in a dreamland, but who would want to have nightmares when they can have good one?

I think I m starting to love sleeping more and more, I just hope that I don't have to wake up feeling really tired after sleeping for too long. HaHa, ironic right?


I come across this very very sad line just late yesterday: If I have never meet you, then I will never have to leave you. And somehow it just resonate with my heart, and this same familiar sting was felt.

I have lots of chips today and I m seriously bliss after consuming them. And even though I get real thirsty after that, I don't care, because I have lots of water here. HaHa


Chatted with a few friend from different places,
  • a currently working friend is actually planning to get a degree in Civil Engineering, is he inspired by me?!?
  • a soon to be graduating friend who just went back to Hobart and never even inform me. There I was waiting for her reply after i SMS-ed her.
  • another soon to grad friend who share my pain and thoughts quite a bit, the weird thing is we are never close.He actually show me this very nice blog post. Definitely worth your 5 minutes ( make it 10 if u are a slow reader)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Dun hate her for loving you

HaHa, I know I have not been the best figure for you to look up upon and set as an example.

But I did my part, and I hope you can get something out of it.

One thing that I remember most vividly is when she says: The day that I stop nagging, that is the day I stop loving and no longer care.

Just like how I always put it: We can never choose our family like how we have the choice for friend.

YLP, dun hold grudges, appreciate everything that you are having.

Alex asked Why you choose to blog ya?

Ehm, because I always feel good after doing so.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Okay, I m not as dead I thought I am.

I still get excited and happy over little simple things.

One thing that I will never exchange for anything else in the world is my VOICE. Because without it, I can never sing my lungs out.

I have one of the best karaoke session yesterday night and now I have even stronger urge to get vocal training to improve on this 1 thing that I really love. How how?!?!

I woke up and saw that there are new Bearbrick releasing, OMG. And the design makes me love it the very moment I saw it. How am I suppose to save money for trips if I keep spending madly this way?

And witnessing the flow of affection and love between DaiLou and gf makes me smile. I never show in on my face, but deep inside my heart, I am smiling and I still believe in love.

Question of the day: Should I watch Alice in Wonderland in 3D??!?! hemmmm......

Thursday, March 4, 2010

you piece of shit

You always want what you can't have

You never treasure everything that you are having

You keep on complaining about not having much when you actually got plenty

You think you are right and everyone else are just wrong

You say you want a lover that is not clingy, but you grasp on the past like your life is hanging by it

You broke promise to yourself over and over and over again

There is an inner voice inside me telling me all these, and it is slowly driving me insane.