I spent the whole day thinking and missing a person, I have a strong intuition that I will have dream about this person and I will wake up missing her more. Yet when I woke up the next day after a long night of random weird nightmare, I feel that I sort of miss her less. Then for the next few days, somehow memory and feeling for that person become more and more vague.

I thought: Maybe my brain and heart are finally working together to help me to move on.

Then I caught a glimpse of something small or not even important, but this small unimportant thing reminded me of her, and I start to remember things about her. Like a 1000 pieces of jigsaw, I assembly and sort out pieces by pieces, slowly finishing up the puzzle. Sometimes it will only take me a few hours to get it done; sometimes days.

Once the puzzle is completed, I will just stare at it forever, nostalgia is running through my vein, memory is inhibiting my mind, sadness is dwelling in my heart. They tend to stay there for a long time, till I woke up one day and the whole process just start all over again. Maybe a scene from movie or just a cup of coffee, sometimes I have to deal with a new piece of puzzle but I always solved it and feel sad.

Is tiring, but I like the feeling of being tired, is like I’m found my sense of belonging in those tiredness. Is not something explainable or sense making, just like love, you can never explain it to your friend no matter how hard you try, you have to feel it, you cannot touch it, but you can sense it.